This has been a difficult Advent for my family. We have been living in a construction site since November 1st and have missed having things like furniture, heat and electricity not to mention our books, decorations and the other comforts that make home homey.
I have spent a lot of time inwardly (and sometimes not so inwardly) lamenting the loss of these material possessions that define seasons for us. I was unable to put up fall decorations, my favorite season and my favorite decor, and now we have endured Advent with no wreath, no Nativity, no festive feeling at all here in the "much larger but still empty" Bonny Blue House. The children have been sleeping in the basement for about 6 weeks and we school there and eat there as well. They are sick of their closed quarters and itching for some quiet and privacy.
So it's been a sacrificial season for us. As I was saying my morning prayers a few days ago it came to me that the reason for this austerity might not just be that a village was tortureously slow in issuing building permits and that worldwide credit crisis delayed already in place financing or even that an architect forgot to submit an essential document to the torturously slow permit committee, it might be that God was calling us to something deeper. To step out in faith and trust at a time when it is particularly difficult to do so. To be open to life and to rebuild a house to accommodate this baby and others that may follow at a time when "lay-off" is the word of the day at my husband's firm
The fact that we are living in a largely empty house during a time of year marked by the "stuff" might be God's way of calling us to the essentials. The essential being Christ. Maybe this is our year to hunker down and offer up. To forgo the seasonal festivities in order to prepare our souls for what is to come.
Being at the end of a difficult pregnancy is particularly poignant at this time of year. Contemplating our Blessed Mother's last weeks as she prepared to bring the Son of God into the world. Do I have anything to complain about? I have a home, I have health care, I have a loving family to surround me every evening watching my belly jump, I have dear friends who cater to me in a shameless fashion. Bringing meals and opening their homes to me, shuttling kids to activities and devising amusements for them. Am I facing a long donkey ride to an unfamiliar place where my husband and I will endure the birth of a child in a stable, alone and overwhelmed? No, I'm facing a birth in a clean hospital with my husband at my side and family and friends anxiously awaiting news. Helping and praying as usual.
We may not have everything we want this Advent season but God has seen fit to provide everything we need. So I close my eyes in prayer and an image comes into my head. A home filled not with Christmas lights and candles but with the light of God's grace and the light that comes with the love born of our Holy Mother Mary. Redeeming light that comes from within each of us. Lead by me, an often cranky mom who suddenly has a clue what is important. A mom who sets the tone in her home, not disappointment for what is not here but great appreciation for what is. Love. Life giving, soul saving, everlasting love of God for us. And us for Him.
The Charlie Browniest of trees in the dining room where cords running to our one working downstairs light socket provide light.
Well said!!!
Posted by: Ruth | December 29, 2008 at 08:39 AM
Beautiful, Mary Ellen, and so true for all of us. I pray that you had a wonderful Christmas.
Posted by: Jennifer Gregory Miller | January 01, 2009 at 01:42 PM