Gifts 'n Stuff

After my annual pre-Christmas toy purging, I indulged in my annual pre-Christmas rant regarding our excess of Stuff.  My mother is the long-suffering recipient of my rants.  I shared with her how all of our Stuff cannot be good for our souls.  I went on about the children’s lack of appreciation and organization as a result of our Stuff.  I voiced frustration over storing our Stuff.  I expounded on my fear of new Stuff coming into our home at Christmas.

My mother patiently mentioned that when her ten children were young she could remember about twenty things we had for toys.  That was it.  Stuff was not a problem for her because we didn’t have Stuff.

“But Mom!  What about all the Stuff that came in for Christmas?!”  I wailed, desperate for an answer to the dilemma.

“Oh, there wasn’t much money for gifts, so they were simple things that added to something you already played with.  I always made skirts for you girls or new doll clothes.  I made pajamas for everyone. The boys got another model car or dinosaur for their collection.  Everyone always got a book. That was it.  Three simple gifts.”

I was stunned.  I remember Christmas having all the magic of childhood.  I remember great excitement Christmas morning and wrapping paper flying everywhere.  I remember our happiness with our gifts.

There was never any question back then, or now in my own family, that the incarnation, Jesus Christ, is the central focus of this holy season.  But do you mean to tell me it can be celebrated with minimal Stuff?!

Apparently so. 

For many years my parents did not have a fancy nativity set.  They made one out of cardboard and paint.  We loved that little set!  Most of the tree ornaments were homemade.  With little money for extra baking, there was one kind of cookie we children always made and mom baked sweet breads for friends and neighbors.  Only one kind of cookie!  We thought they were the most beautiful, delicious cookies in the world.

Christmas dinner was a feast and there was always company around the table.  Now I know how hard my mother worked, carefully planning and purchasing over the month of December to make it all work out.  Everything from scratch, Dad even made the wine.

After that conversation and the flood of memories, I am resolved once again to limit Stuff.  Not just limit, but change our attitudes a little.  More joy, less Stuff.  More people, less Stuff.  More holiness, less Stuff.

The Holy Family surely did not have Stuff.  No family could have more joy than they did.  The way to follow them is straight and simple, and it’s not littered with Stuff.

Comments

[kozimom]

I agree - but how? Please let us know how your plans go!

[Meredith]

So perfect Bridget!! I love the three things, one from each Wise Man?? We could do alot with the three things concept! Thanks so much for your "rant", it helped me immensely :)

[Kitty]

Wow! Great post! "Stuff" is creeping into our house too! Your Mom is a wise woman. With limited funds she was forced to be, but it's the best way even if you do have enough money.

This year's gifts: Water bottles in different colors for the kids for when we have to take a long drive (we live in the country, so it's a trek just to go into town once a week for groceries & errands), a new outfit for the girls' dolls (made by my Mom), and home made preserves and cookies for the aunts, uncles & cousins.

Once a year (after Christmas) we get out 5 large storage bins full of toys. The kids get to choose which toys they want to keep. They have to fit into the bins (we have 7 kids). Anything that doesn't fit in the bins (with lids on) gets taken to Goodwill. Then throughout the year, we rotate the bins (ideally once a week) so they always have something "new" to play with that they haven't seen in 5 weeks. They also get to keep one or two dolls to sleep with, that doesn't get put in the bins.

[Meredith from Merchant Ships]

This has been my favorite post to read all holiday season thus far. Thank you for the reminder that our childhood memories needn't suffer from lack of Stuff!

[Marsha]

I try to remember every year the fact that I cannot recall more than a handful of presents that I received in my entire childhood. A dollhouse, the game Life and some Nancy Drew books are the things that come to mind. Rather, my primary memories of Christmas magic involve decorating the tree, watching Emmit Otter's Jugband Christmas, making foil "bells" with my mom, and gingerbread house construction. This is probably the essential fact I need to keep in the front of my mind as I raise my kids - they don't need the stuff I can buy them (however much they might protest to the contrary) but rather the love and time I can give them, and at Christmas all the more so.

[Lisa]

Beautiful post. I go buy presents according to this:
Something to Wear
Something to Read
Something they want
Something they need

The most difficult part for me in controlling stuff is grandparents.

[Melissa]

Fabulous post! Thank you for sharing it!

[Julie]

Mary from Our Red House sent me over and what a joyful message did I find! That was a beautiful post. I have so many memories of Christmas as a child. And Reason was always the most pleasant to relive!

Come see me if you get a chance!

Love,
Julie

[Marybeth]

Beautiful! Thank you!

[MaryM]

What a thought provoking post on memories and the reality of htose memories.

[Linda]

Are we the only ones that are giving our kids just one present for Christmas?

Maybe it's a cultural thing? It's normal in Holland for kids to receive just one gift from their parents (and then one from their grandparents or so)

*lol* You Americans ;)

[lisa]

we have always had a very lean Christmas. at first, it was "just for this year" but then we realized that our life working for the Church would necesitate this to be a lifelong tradition!
The kids get small gifts , clementines, and small chocolate coins in their boots on Dec 6 , St Nicholas, and then they each get 3 gifts (one is a book) in the Feast of the Epiphany.
Dh and I do not traditionally exchange gifts, for example, we "gifted" the new roof that he put up for us to eachother! :)
But we are all happy and relaxed during the Advent and Christmas season. Lots of good simple foods during the week (we do a modified "fast" as do the Eastern Catholic traditions) and then the money I've saved on groceries go for the big FEAST!! the 12 days of Christmas!
A gift that comes from extended family is what would be opened on Christmas morning...
Bridget, thank you for your meaningful post!
Blessed ADVENT,lisa in il

[Lisa]

What a wonderful memory. Today we see a "simple" holiday as maybe one BIG gift--like a computer! How did we as a nation get so far off track? My children remember Christmas ][Well New Year's really] in the their orphanage in Ukraine as a day when the got a piece of fruit and CANDY. This week I got a Christmas list from my son that looks like the contents of the Wal-mart electronics dept!!!!!

[Lisa]

What a wonderful memory. Today we see a "simple" holiday as maybe one BIG gift--like a computer! How did we as a nation get so far off track? My children remember Christmas ][Well New Year's really] in the their orphanage in Ukraine as a day when the got a piece of fruit and CANDY. This week I got a Christmas list from my son that looks like the contents of the Wal-mart electronics dept!!!!!

[Cheryl]

I was doing a bit of ranting myself today. I LOVED reading this post!

[Mama Squirrel]

I enjoyed this--and I've linked.

[Roberta]

We've always had budget limited Christmas's. Its a big year when I have $500 to spend on the entire Christmas.

This year, as my kids are getting older, I find it much harder. They are continually brining up items and telling me what they want.

And I keep having to tell them to let it be.

I think the hardest thing for me is my pride. As a parent I watch my husband's family give my children ridiculous gifts! And I think... well, I'm jealous!

Anyhow... Thanks for posting as this was so reaffirming!

[Rachel Wright]

Great post! And you're so right--in the end the things my kids remember from year to year are the traditions like decorating the tree, making cookies for Santa, the nativity pageant... We give each of our kids one gift from us, then "Santa" fills their stockings on Christmas Eve with a lot of little things that don't cost much, like stickers, a book (bought used from the library sale), a few fun do-dads from the dollar store, and so forth. They get to empty their stockings right away on Christmas morning (without waiting for grumpy grownups to get their breakfast) and they have such a sense of abundance and delight, they don't even notice they only got "one" gift!

[Wifeofdadwithnoistkids]

Bridget,
I found this post very interesting! Many years ago a wise women once told me the exact same story, or at least very close. That is when my Christmas became very simple.
3 small gifts in the stocking. Then we finish filling the stocking with their breakfast(orange,nutri-grain bar,cracker and cheese,etc.).Tip from my big sister.
1 gift from St.Nicholas
1 gift from the Grandparents(easy for me because both sets just send me a check)
1 gift from Dad and Mom
I chose very carefully all the gifts, from the Grandparents they get a new board/card game. With 12 children and no TV, we are always USING up are board games. The three gifts are to symbolize the the gifts from the three Kings. This is what the wise woman once told me. I have been so greatful all these years. You probably figured out that the wise women was YOU!
Thank you, again!
God bless you and your family this Advent and always,
Wifeofdadwithnoisykids

[Astreil]

DH and I are struggling with this very topic, as it is a very lean year. Also, we already have too many toys.

One blogger suggested the 1 toy/1 game/1 book per child. May you have a simple holiday season.

[Astreil]

DH and I are struggling with this very topic, as it is a very lean year. Also, we already have too many toys.

One blogger suggested the 1 toy/1 game/1 book per child. May you have a simple holiday season.

[Margaret in Minnesota]

What an awesome post, Mary Ellen! Thank you.