A Family Christmas Card

by Alice

It was early September 2005, and my children were looking positively lovely for a family reunion. The girls' hair was curled and bouncy, and those five pale green matching dresses were a sight to behold. Little Patrick, our only boy, with his new haircut and button-down shirt, looked as handsome a tyke as ever there was. Gazing at them with a sigh of motherly admiration, a brilliant idea occurred to me--take the Christmas photo!

Before my six hapless children even knew what hit them, I had planted the whole troupe down on the couch and was snapping away feverishly, exhausting an entire roll of film in a matter of moments. Stopping to reload, I fired off another round, bombarding them with flashes and flickers and repeated entreaties to "Smile!" Somewhere on those rolls, I knew all six children would be smiling and looking directly into the camera. If not, I rested secure in the notion that there was still plenty of time to plan a separate assault for later on in the month.

This was a far cry from years past. My usual routine was to take the Christmas photo on Thanksgiving Day. This may sound reasonable, but the results were far from ideal. The awful process of capturing just the right photo inevitably made us late for Thanksgiving dinner at my in-laws,' and Murphy's Law seemed to grip the effort from the start. I remember the year our baby son, Patrick, looking fetchingly cute in a pair of black velvet Hanna Andersson overalls, fell asleep on the floor just before our shoot. Needless to say, he bawled through about three rolls of film when we woke him. Doggedly refusing to throw in the towel, I enlisted the help of everyone on hand in a vain attempt to get that tired, cranky boy to smile. At one point during the quixotic shoot, the girls unexpectedly broke into peals of laughter (and a row of photogenic smiles). I wheeled round to find my husband, ever the team player, hidden under a buttoned overcoat with a bust of Beethoven peeping out the top. Patrick cried louder than ever, but it was a valiant effort nonetheless.

In spite of all the difficulties, there are few things more valuable or worthwhile than enclosing a family photo within a Christmas card. Just this past weekend, I ran into a friend we had not seen in about six years. I stood dumbfounded as she rattled off the names of all my children (except for the brand new baby) and managed to tell them apart. It was my faithful yearly Christmas card that had allowed her to make the connections. We joked that no matter how far apart we are, she would always know all my children, although she could not be held accountable for anyone born after Christmas!

While we are not quite as ahead of the game this year as we were in 2005, I plan on making a date with my children for a family photo in mid-October. Our Hanna Andersson order is in, and somewhere upstairs a drawer full of soft rollers awaits its yearly excursion. One or two more details completed, and two hundred or so cards will be ready to go out the door. (That is right--two hundred!)

Over the years, I have learned at least a few ways to tame this Herculean task:

1. Gather addresses in advance, and make sure they are up to date. If possible, input them all into the computer to make label making a breeze. Last year, my black address book went missing about six months before Christmas. Procrastinator/optimist that I am, I kept thinking it would magically turn up. It didn't. Many of the gains of time I had made by taking the photo early were lost by my late season dash to gather two hundred or more addresses.

2. Buy stamps as soon as possible. Religious stamps are often sold out or hard to come by in December. You might want to consider trying photo stamps this year. They are a perfect personal touch, and make great gifts and stocking stuffers as well.

3. Return address labels save so much time. Trademark Catholic Stationery makes labels that are reasonably priced and a faith-filled alternative to the usual santas and snowmen. For something truly unique, try personalized family labels with amusing cartoon representations of the entire family--even pets!

4. Plan a pre-printed message. As meaningful as it is to write personal notes to everyone on your list, it helps to have the closing of your card pre-printed, especially if you are blessed with a large family. I solved this problem last year by ordering separate address labels from Trademark Catholic Stationery, and replacing the address with the message: "Love, the Gunthers, [all of our names] Have a beautiful and blessed Christmas!"

5. Consider enclosing a holy card inside. One Christmas, a friend of ours included gilded paper cards highlighting the moment of Consecration with the prayer, "The Beautiful Hands of a Priest" printed on the back. I read that prayer over and over and was deeply moved by it. Boxes of paper holy cards are inexpensive, readily available, and may touch the hearts of the recipients more than you could imagine.

6. Invite a friend to help, or get the children on board. I do not need to tell you that large holiday jobs are more fun when they turn into a party. Invite your best friend over to help stuff envelopes and stick on address labels. [My best pal Lissa actually spent one of her last nights in New York doing this with me five years ago. Sniff.] Children would enjoy this task as well, especially if there is hot chocolate involved. (Although, as I think about it, children, hot chocolate, and two hundred crisp clean Christmas cards might be a risky combination.)

7. Mail early. Your post office will love you, and all your friends will think you are a genius of organization. I can't tell you how many afternoon-before-Christmas Eves I've made the mad drive to the post office, dropping stacks of envelopes on the laps of poor harried postal workers. My Christmas gift to them this year will be to mail early in December. (Some of you "O Night Divine" readers are on my list, so you will have to hold me accountable.)

8. Remember how important your photos are to friends and family. When you stop to think of the joy you bring to others by sharing the bright faces of your young ones, it makes the effort seem so much more worthwhile. Last year, I wrote about how much the photos sent to our family mean to us at Christmastime and how precious each image really is. The wall of photos we adorn day by day is every bit as indispensable as the tree.

9. Enclose a prayer. These past few years, I have made it a habit to say one Hail Mary for the recipient of each card as I stuff and seal the envelopes. "Sealed with a prayer" beats "sealed with a kiss" anyday.

10. In spite of everything I have said, do not hesitate to send out cards after Christmas. If you would prefer fewer distractions during Advent, send your Christmas greetings after December 25th. After all, Christmas Day is only the start of the Christmas season. I know for myself, I am always a bit sad when the flood of cards in the mail each day begins to taper off, and it is a treat when a few arrive in the middle of January.

*******

God bless all of you as you anticipate this happy and holy season. I am so grateful for Mary Ellen's vision in beginning "O Night Divine" and for her gracious generosity in allowing me and my family to be a part of it. My prayer is that it will blossom like the flower of Jesse and become a part of our Christmas tradition for many years to come.

Comments

[Gwen]

How timely Alice! I just made a dinner date with our favorite (family friend) photographer. Last year we all wore blue jeans with either red or black shirts and it turned out quite well. Do you always use matching outfits or vary it year to year? I also love the holy card suggestion.

[Alice]

Yes, Gwen, we've managed to use matching dresses all these years. Patrick is the only one who wears something different, but even he usually matches the color scheme.

This will change as the kids get older, but for now even my twelve year old doesn't mind matching! I love the look of photos with everyone in jeans and coordinating shirts--and professional portraits are so special.

[Dawn]

I'm printing this whole post out, Alice! It is full of excellent advice and tips. The cards always sneak up on me - how much better to start early and *enjoy* it!! :)

[Alice]

Thank you so much, Dawn!

[Elizabeth]

Lots of great ideas here.

Silly question -- would you enclose a holy card whether or not the recipients were Catholic? I can think of many friends who would be very offended if I did this. That doesn't stop me choosing a religious theme for the Christmas cards themselves, but adding a holy card seems to be going several steps further.

Am I just being too timid?!

[Alice]

That is not a silly question at all, Elizabeth.

Most of the family and friends on my list are Catholic, but I would omit the holy card for my Jewish friends. As far as Protestant friends are concerned, it would really depend. On the one hand, I would not want to offend the person, but, on the other, you never know when a card you enclose might touch someone's heart. I would pray about it and decide on a friend by friend basis.

[Angel]

Since I perpetually have difficulty getting things done on time, it's heartening to hear you say that it's ok to send cards out *after* Christmas. I've never been sure of the etiquette there.

[Ana Braga-Henebry]

I found this blog through Christine's Memories of a Catholic Wife and Mother--Alice left a comment and followed it from there. I am big on Christmas cards and have sent from UNICEF cards to homemade-- but always with a picture. Three boys and four girls ranging 14 yrs are difficult to match, but I am thinking about it. Oldest boy will be home from college next week---that's my chance! I will contact a young friend today who is a great photographer. I've posted some of her photos on my blog. Thanks for your blog--great idea! You could add picture books, such as the young Laura Ingalls picture books, one is about Christmas.