After searching for three days, Mary and Joseph find the twelve-year-old Jesus sitting in the Temple discussing the law with the learned doctors. (Luke 2:42-52)

I have some experience now with the kind of fear that dwelled within the hearts of Mary and Joseph. It is actually more of a pit-of-the-stomach type of feeling. My own son went missing and the story did not end as happily. My oldest son Ryan passed away recently. He died alone and after a heart wrenching twelve hour search he was found. It was the longest night of our life, David and I

read the rest of my column Grief and Joy here...

Comments

[Karen Edmisten]

Oh, Mary Ellen. Thank you for this beautiful piece, and I'm so sorry that you are in a position to write it .... a hug and a prayer for you tonight.

[meredith]

Mary Ellen, you are so beautiful, thank you for your words as impossible as I'm sure they were to write, they are beautiful. Sending love and prayers for you and your family :)

[Denise P.]

This is beautiful, so well-written, and brought tears to my eyes again, just as your Triumph of the Cross post did weeks ago. God bless you all.

Your writings about Ryan are what first brought me to your blog a year or so ago, as I'm homeschooling a special needs child of my own. I know Ryan will continue to lead many, many others to good things!

[Margaret in Minnesota]

Like Denise, I am crying. {{{Hugs}}} from afar until I can deliver them in person.

Or you could come to Minnesota and pick them up yourself.

Love to the whole family,

Margaret

[Kristen Laurence]

Crying like everyone else, Mary Ellen! Your words are so beautiful. Your anguish, suffering, joy, hope, and love are so real, united to Christ and His mother. I want to hold you.

[Sarah @ Amongst Lovely Things]

I have no words to offer you in response to this generous outpouring of your heart, except to tell you that I am praying mightily for your familiy, Mary Ellen, all the while knowing that Ryan is indeed about His Father's business. May God shower you in his abundant peace.

[christinec]

Mary Ellen, what is there to say? your words are both beautiful and generous. continued prayers for you and your family.

[Kimberly]

Mary Ellen...in the midst of your grief you give comfort to the suffering. Is anything more precious? I think not. I will try to face my day, my little trials and setbacks, with the grace and peace that your sweet words inspire. As you struggle through this loss know that friends still pray, that we haven't forgotten, that Ryan's life has touched so many and that through your suffering and the sharing of your experience you uplift and ennoble the rest of us. May you be comforted as you give comfort. May God bless and keep you...

[Rose Ann Pusateri-Rowe]

Mary Ellen...I have started this note numerous times to you. This time I hope I will send it...
I am a parishioner of Our Lady of Perpetual Help. I don't know your family, but I am one of numerous people in our Church who loved hearing your sons beautiful voice. If we could hear a cherub sing, it was Ryan's voice. His presence is truly missed at Mass. I was away, in Shelter Island, the weekend of Ryan's loss. I only learned of it at 9:30 Mass the next weekend. I keep your family and Ryan in my prayers. I pray to Our Lady of Sorrows, that she holds your son, Ryan in her arms. She truly knows your grief.
I looked for a way to send this privately, but couldn't figure out how.
I am a very amateur pastel painter, with just a few sessions of acrylic painting in Lindenhurst's night adult education. I had started a portrait of Ryan in September. I stopped painting it feeling like I might be invading your privacy. It helped me release some of my grief, for the loss of your son.
I spoke to Father Jim, in October, about my painting. I told him of my feelings. I also asked him if he thought it would be alright if I contacted you through your site. I said he did think it would be OK.
I am asking you for permission to finish the portrait. I don't want to upset you in any way. I hope it will make you smile when you see it. I took the pose from a picture of his Shakespearean role. I thought it was delightful, like him! I hope that when I finish it, it will be good enough to give to your family. Please let me know your feelings about this. I wouldn't want to be presumptuous.
Sincerely,
Rose Ann Pusateri-Rowe