A modest Springtime

"Spring is such a wonderful time of year. May is the month of Mary, mothers and lately, I’ve noticed, immodesty.
 
A few weeks ago at church I found myself sitting behind a beautiful young lady who was dressed in pajama pants and a spaghetti strapped top that did not meet the top of her pants. She spent the entire Mass slouched in the pew picking her fingernails. Her long, fake fingernails. In spite of how annoying this was, I wasn’t really upset with the girl.
                  It was her mother I had the issue with."

Read the rest of my latest column at The Long Island Catholic

I would really love to hear your comments.

Comments

[Jennifer]

Brilliant! I was so disheartened to see semi-sort-of-half strapless dresses at GYMBOREE, of all places. We're talking about toddlers here. Finding modest clothing for my daughter becomes more difficult every year.
And frankly, the excuses frustrate me. We don't have loads of fancy clothes, but we do all have one decent outfit to wear to Mass every week.
Thanks for addressing this.

[Theresa]

I thought it was perfect! Well said!

[Eileen]

Hear, hear! (Or is it here, here?) :)

I won't even shop at a store that makes an obvious effort to sexualize little kids.

It's funny, though -- you rightly mentioned the pj-clad girl's mom, but it amazes me how many moms really don't know that they are "allowed" to say no to their kids about things like this, or worse. Maybe her poor mother was just glad her daughter rolled out of bed to join them at Mass. Or maybe it wasn't her mother at all, maybe it was her stepmom -- ask me sometime how much power there is in that "esteemed" position!!! (and my stepdaughters are good kids!)

Even more than the moms, though, what about their dads? Are they really that blind to what their teenage daughters look like, or how men could or will view them? Do they feel powerless, too? I wonder. What a mess this culture is!!!

Anyway, keep preaching it, sister. Maybe eventually people will start to listen.

Warmly,
Eileen

[KC]

Well said indeed.

[amy]

Thank you, Thank you! This is such an important issue of our time.

Well done!

[Becky]

Love it and will forward it to my friends! We have always dressed our daughter in "Lands End" type dresses. Now, at age 9, she is wanting to wear other things instead. I'm trying to walk the line between "in style" and modest. It's hard, but so important. We like to do the "head, shoulders, knees and toes" test to make sure no skin is showing that should be covered. It's not perfect, but it helps!
Becky

[Paula in MN]

Wonderful column! Last week my kids were in a homeschool choir performance. My dd9 wore one of her Lands End dresses. She looked 9, maybe 10. All the other girls had on tank tops, SHORT skirts or tight jeans, and 2 inch high heels. They were dressed like 16-17 years old, and frankly looked downright silly. On the way home, my daughter said one of her friends told her she looked like a baby! I told her she was the best-dressed young lady there. I agree with you that it starts witht he parents, but the pressure from the kids is just as bad, even homeschooled kids.

[Pam]

Wonderfully said. Thank you!

[Rachel]

Oh well said! I couldn't agree more with you! :)

[Angie @ Many Little Blessings]

Excellent! I just wrote a post about this for my blog, and linked to you. It should be posted around this time tomorrow morning.

Thanks for your great article!

[Cheryl M.]

Mary Ellen, this article is EXCELLENT!!

[Jo]

Your column was wonderful. I have no daughters, but I can appreciate the challenge of finding fashionable and modest clothing that mothers of daughters must face. I find it is similarly difficult to find truly modest blouses for women anymore if they button up the front--the top button is usually too low for my taste, and I always have to pin my blouses closed or install a snap. I just had a terrible time finding an evening dress for a family wedding as well.

[Jessica]

This is an Excellent article Mary Ellen!!! THANK YOU!!! I will be posting a link on my blog to share it with others! God Bless!

[Jamie]

I came here through Jessica at shower of roses. Wonderful article! I just yesterday bought our 5 year old Summer clothes and was shocked at the immodesty now that she is in 6x and no longer in size 2-5T!! I had a hard time finding shorts long enough and swimsuits, were awful!! The only one piece ones were completely backless except a little bit covering the bottom. We did find a swimsuit at another store, but only one, it had Strawberry Shortcake on it and it had a little circle on it with the words 100% Pure! I couldn't resist that one, we got it!

She asked me why people buy those "icky" clothes, if they are icky? Good question...I told her they don't know how icky they are. They just see the pretty colors and want them, I guess.

[Beth]

Well said, MaryEllen. I would add that we need to also get fathers involved in this issue. Girls and daddies often have a special bond and dad needs to step up to the plate and put his foot down. After all, he remembers what it is like to be a teen-age boy.

Children want boundaries and structure and thrive when they are given it. It is hard to fight these battles and they are too often not even attempted because parents these days want to be their kids' "friends" instead of parents.

Thanks for the article.

Beth

[Ann Marie]

Praise God she was in church and hearing the word of God! Hopefully she won't feel judged and not want to go back to mass. Pray that the Holy Spirit will speak to her heart as well as her mother's on this issue.

[Kelly]

Consider this fact: In 2003 1.6 million dollars were sold in thong sales to little girls alone! That is outrageous. I work for an organization that is speaking out against this and we are getting a petition signed and sent to fashion industry leaders to make them aware that sexaulization of these little girls are unacceptable! This is chance for parents to get involved and take action about this monstrosity. Take a minute a sign the petition...you can find it at secretkeepergirl.com.